Funny People

To me, the best compliment EVER is: “You’re the funniest person I’ve met for a long time.”

Funny is fabulous. Not funny-peculiar (though that’s always interesting), but funny–ha-ha.

Though all the souls I love and enjoy have fine senses of humor and most everyone has funny stories, there are but an *elephant-shrew-paw-full of peeps, whose funny starts in the marrow of their bones. They just think on a different plane to you and me. And funny (peculiar) though it may be, each one of these human treasures is dry as the Namib Camel Thorn Tree.

Three such droll humorists who immediately come to mind are:  Wolfsister Lanie; long-ago friend Melinda; and a client turned friend, Tracey.  All share a mystical, magical ability to be original and highly amusing without any effort whatsoever.

Whereas I can tell my own story 50 times and be equally tickled by my own telling – hell, I’ve likely told YOU the same stories already – these unique comediennes come up with gems for the most mundane situations, quick as the snap of a Venus Flytrap.*

Funerals with these girls are a riot – even death can’t stop their dry wit peeping through because their funny is permanently on HIGH. The angels themselves must have created these human forms of unadulterated levity to prove that laughter is the very best medicine.

To that point, Tracey is a hospice nurse. She’s famous. Families who’ve witnessed loved ones moving onto the next plane in the midst of a Tracy-induced giggle, recommend her so highly, she’s flown out of state by families she’s never met, to administer to their dying. Imagine being revered for turning last rites into your loved one’s heartiest, albeit final earth-laugh. Now THAT’S winning over a tough crowd!

Tracey has an 11-month-old coal-black Labradoodle, Oliver. The puppy has the whitest teeth I’ve ever seen. She brushed them before he met me for the first time last week – just in case we kissed. And we did. Quite a lot, actually.

Tracey took Ollie to the local dog park a month ago so they could both make friends. This was before the boy’s knickers were knacked, if you catch my drift.  A lady sat down next to Tracey on the bench as Ollie frolicked with a cute little rescue. After a brief intro-sniff, Ollie felt the need to show off his newly acquired mounting skills.

“Oh, dear,” said Tracy to the woman next to her, “Is it yours, mine’s finding unduly attractive?”  It wasn’t exactly the way she’d intended to make a first impression.

“Yes,” the woman said, slightly embarrassed at her girl-dogs promiscuity. “That’s Agnes.”

“Oh, lovely,” Tracey beamed at the saintly name. “Is she Catholic?” she asked.

After some serious thought, the woman smiled “Well, yes!”

“Then it’s okay,” Tracy said, sighing with relief. “That’s Ollie and he’s Presbyterian,” and the really, really funny thing? She meant it!

Clown-hats off to those sublimely dry, ridiculously quick minds, that open wide, our perspectives. They make us, midst the most unladylike guffaws; capture our usual world from entirely different angles.  We’re so glad you’re on our planet.

P.S. I’m reading “Relatively inSane” by Phoebe Richards. I strongly suspect that Ms. Richards is one of these aforementioned rare-as-sterile-rabbit subjects. I must confess, I only have time for toilet reading. The wicked Ms. Richards has tickled me absolutely pink in my most vulnerable position. That takes some pooing…oops…doing. See? That’s the best I can do: Lavatorial humor!

How low can I really go?

Till next time,


*Elephant Shrew – the smallest animal in South Africa. Their snout is shaped like an elephant’s and they are hard to find because of their size. They feast on nuts, seeds, and fruit and spend most of their lives in hiding since they have many predators, snakes especially.

**The carnivorous Venus Fly Trap plant snaps its clamshell leaves around an insect in less than a second.

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